dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
