My room smells like vodka and shame
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
