I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
