me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
