i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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