Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize