I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think I died a long time ago.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize