I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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