He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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