The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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