sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my vagina is haunted
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
