she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
