Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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