i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I AM VODKA MAN
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
