I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
