We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
