I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize