party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
