So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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