More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
