STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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