soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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