so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
