He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
