once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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