You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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