Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize