this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize