I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
