so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
