That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
