My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
