Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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