Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
