In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
