i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
