honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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