I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
