You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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