She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
