i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize