So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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