I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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