I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
