Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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