im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
