I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
