Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
