why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
