How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
