Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
