apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
