i would punch a child for taco bell
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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