Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize