Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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