no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
