I CAN MOONWALK!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
