He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
