It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
