shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's just like the Real World with babies
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
