she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My feet surprised me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
