I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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