We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize