well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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