We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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