I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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