i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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